Let me begin this article by saying that I never intended to have a business. I never, in my wildest dreams, imagined having a business, or even wanted a business to begin with. The story I am about to tell you has unfolded completely organically, taking on a life of its own as I simply followed the guiding light of my inspiration.
For those of us who are highly spiritual or who fall into the category of “light worker”, the idea of success in business (and thus material matters) and the inclination to help people might seem like they don’t mix. On the contrary, I feel that a real test of spirituality is how one has been able to apply their spiritual understanding towards mastery in the material realm. I didn’t know it at the time, but when I set out in business a few years ago, I was about to be challenged to put my money where my mouth was and see what I was made of when it came to landing my lofty ideals in a way that was practically useable. It could be said that owning a business is potentially one of the biggest spiritual learning curves ever.
I began blogging and expressing my visions of life via social media some years ago, primarily for two reasons. One was that I HAD TO, it was like a message was screaming from the very depths of my soul that it needed to be delivered and it poured out of me whether I liked it or not. I simply had no choice but to cooperate. Secondly, I began writing to heal myself from the excruciating feeling of being gagged as a result of a painful past in which I was forced to hide secrets and lies for the sake of my very survival. Writing was my way to reclaim my voice. Over time it began to reveal itself that both of these reasons were one and the same thing.
Slowly, to my initial horror, beautiful beings of light began showing up, deeply interested in what I had to say, and asking if I was available to work with them personally. Even the idea of this filled me with terror – after all, I didn’t have a clue what I was doing. After some months of resisting, it gradually began to dawn on me, as the gentle knocks became ever more persistent, that these were the knocks of a greater purpose calling me to what I was supposed to be doing. And the rest, as they say, is history. I nervously and tentatively accepted my first “client”, and without ever having made even the slightest attempt to advertise my services, more have continued to show up ever since. I have been consistently amazed and sometimes overwhelmed by the calibre of those who have gathered around me.
The initial step of accepting my first client was taken in 2013, but even at that point it never occurred to me that I was actually developing a “business”. In honesty, it’s taken me really until this year to begin to take my business seriously. I’ve realised that I was unconsciously following the path of creating the freedom lifestyle of my dreams for myself and my family – but had never dared to consider consciously that this might actually be possible for me! My larger self was carrying me there regardless, but my small self was unable to acknowledge that all of it could be real.
Last year was a good year. Then, at the end of last year, things started to change… Over a period of several months, a completely unexpected trend developed whereby more and more clients wanted to work with me in a longer-term, often weekly capacity. Which was AWESOME, however there was a slight problem… Being that I offered all of them a significant discount for their commitment to themselves, and as I took on more, I suddenly ended up with much less time to take on new clients at full price. Consequently, my income took a significant drop… despite the fact that I was booking more long-term clients who clearly loved working with me, and forging deeper and more meaningful relationships than ever.
Clearly, I hadn’t thought this one through very well…
I would not trade this experience for anything – aside from the obvious wonderful learning opportunity it provided, many of these clients have become dear friends. But what I learned from it is that I had everything completely backwards in the context of how a business and in fact life in general should work! I needed to be rewarding myself for the deeper commitment to others that I was proposing to give, which would have meant a greater, not lesser, financial investment on their part. Despite an initial small price increase which my clients graciously accepted, inevitably, it became impossible to sustain this flawed model in a way that meant I could give all I wanted to. This is precisely what has literally forced me into having to change my whole approach now, and it has been a rollercoaster journey of completely unexpected intensity. I would actually say this has been one of the most challenging years of my life so far in terms of growth and healing.
See, in any situation where you are consistently leaving yourself with a deficit, be it in a relationship, in family life, in work, or whatever, it is impossible to continue to fulfil what you had wanted to do in the first place as a being of love. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and that is the truth my friends. During these months I ended up completely exhausted, unable to write or create meaningful content, worried about being able to pay my bills, and had to make the call between taking care of myself, which meant leaving many emails unanswered, or making building relationships with my clients the priority. My own health and wellbeing obviously had to come first. Point being, with a sound business model, neither of these things should have to be sacrificed. It’s time as Women Leaders that we make the call to step beyond the either/or world.
I realised that I had never actually thought of myself as genuinely “having a business”, I had never stopped for even a moment to be deliberate about what I was doing, or implement any kind of strategy for its growth or expansion. The initial release of energy provided by my self-liberation from my previous situation had carried me through thus far, but it had now run out, and I needed to apply conscious and intentional co-creative action in its place. When it came to doing this, however, I realised that I was up against a brick wall of previously undealt with limiting belief systems that I had not yet encountered! I realised that I had been living in an incubation chamber that let me float along just enough to not have to encounter these deeper issues until I was ready… and there was no turning back.
I thought about giving up, but knew in the marrow of my bones that pushing through this is exactly what I had set out to achieve in the first place – total and absolute freedom from all perceived limitation at every level of being, and full actualisation of the power to design my own reality down to the tiniest, most delightful detail. My business journey so far has been one of being carried along by the wings of grace, but life has now offered me the opportunity to step into a new level of maturity whereby I am granted the deep privilege of creative licence in shaping how the future will unfold for me through this creative project – my work of art that is my life/business. These two have come to be inseparable for me, I see my business as an outlet for my life’s expression, and I fully realise that as I pour myself into it completely it will reward me in every possible capacity.
This year has seen many agonising months of intense inner work. I feared many things, found many self-sabotaging mechanisms and a number of truly self-assaulting inclinations. I was concerned about how I may be criticised by those who didn’t understand for daring to choose more for myself, and had to come to painful terms with how fragile my self-confidence was if it cowered in the face of potentially being misunderstood (a terrifying word to the inner child who had never quite recovered from being “the misunderstood one”). These months were spent tenderly reminding that inner child that if it was understood by many, it’s magic would be quite ordinary! And it is anything but ordinary! It is destined for an extraordinary life! And I was here to support it with achieving that. I am 150% committed to bringing the immensity of this new understanding and experience to my next wave of clients.
My new approach, the final draft of which is still in the works, swaps the model of exchanging time for cash selling single sessions for the far more aligned model of selling tailor-made all-inclusive packages geared towards visionary men and women who already know the source of their inspiration and need the clarity, insight and expertise of somebody who has walked that path to help them to actualise their full potential. Stay tuned for more info on this soon, or subscribe to my newsletter to be the first to hear about it.