The following entries are excerpted from Facebook posts. Every so often I find that experiences I’m having are so significant that I want to document them for myself in some way, and this is an example of one such time.
It also feels it gives context for those who have been following my sharings, and who are walking through their own processes of healing, liberation and actualisation of their soul’s purpose – illustrating the journey and bringing hope that full freedom is ultimately available for all, no matter where one may currently find themselves on the path.
In the past I’ve kept a separate personal blog on which I’ve documented this type of experience, and it feels like a good time to now incorporate this into my main website. It’s feels to me like this is the merging of disparate parts of the totality of what I’m offering, and that documenting the “full story” is actually a much more effective way to serve those who come to me for help professionally.
I have always written to communicate with myself first and foremost, to free my own voice, and I have found consistently that my doing so has seemed to help others as well, by offering hope, connection, inspiration and insight into the experience. I therefore share with increased joy and a sense of fulfillment these days, knowing that my sharing is likely benefiting somebody else in the process. I feel so humbled to know that words that I write may the exact keys that unlock new levels of sovereignty in those who read them!
May 1st 2019:
Today I overcame my fear of needles (and tendency to pass out on seeing needles!) to go and have my first ever acupuncture session. It totally blew me away, the effect was so profound!!
I went because I’ve been struggling to shift what has felt like the “last energetic layer” of my entire past experience involving massive familial trauma, and over the last few weeks I’ve had this “sigh of frustration” that just kept coming up from deep within my lungs and that I couldn’t quite get out, and knew I needed some physical energetic support to get it moving. I intuitively felt like acupuncture was the right approach, and just ignored my apprehensions and booked a session.
I explained to my therapist (who was amazing!) the issue I was having and she chose the lung point called “House of the Ancestors” (whoa!) as well as one liver and one spleen point (3 was more than enough!!!). I know this type of medicine works and that the principles it’s based on are very very real, especially as I teach some of it myself, but I honestly did not expect it to be quite so profound and instantly life-changing as it was!
I realise this is in part because I’ve done SO much work already and this was the “last piece”, but I was honestly amazed at the effect and just had to share the story of what I experienced.
After the first point (liver) I felt instant and profound relief of the feeling of frustration that something was not moving, and an immediate rebalancing of my body and subtle bodies. The effect of the lung point (“House of the Ancestors”) being added in was truly profound however, beyond what I could have imagined… all of the points work together to get stagnant energy moving by the way, for anyone who doesn’t know this. Apparently 3 is the minimum to use.
Initially the energy release was so intense and massive that I felt like I was going to black out, my vision blurred and just had to breath through it, and then it immediately dropped into the experience of what I can only describe as a “soul scream”… it was like my soul was screaming. I know this experience very well, I’ve accessed it many times and done everything I could to try to get it out fully, but just could not get it to release.
I had to just stay and breathe through the whole thing, my whole system felt like it was being reoriented to the point of almost losing consciousness, and then eventually after a few minutes I heard my soul speak beyond the scream…
“You’ve carried this long enough. Put it down”.
I cannot describe the feeling of relief, such a heavy burden. Not mine anymore. Never was mine. Put it down. Then I heard my body speak, “You haven’t been able to let this go…” implying that’s why I’ve had these recent symptoms – the eczema that flared up on my face was literally ON and around the Large Intestine points – sharing as an incredible testament of how our body speaks to us!!
The Lung and Large Intestine are paired points in Chinese Medicine, and in not being able to release this energy from the lung (it just felt trapped), my beautiful body let me know exactly what the issue is so that I would go and get help! The large intestine, of course, is associated with letting things go…
I breathed through all of it engaging the whole process with intention until the feeling of being near a blackout sharted to fade away, and an incredible lightness like I’ve never experienced washed over me. I heard the words “life is so easy now”. The feeling was like having 50 tonnes of bricks lifted off my back, I could feel a clear energetic path ahead that I can simply walk through effortlessly to achieve my greater aims in life.
I have been asked to keep secrets, but no more. No more will I carry around the burden of ancestral trauma that is simply not mine. I am free to walk forward unencumbered into a new life. The end.
It is so incredible to have such affirmation of what was already sensed as the subtle dynamics at play here. We know our body instincts, we know exactly what is going on for ourselves in any given moment, we can instinctively sense the subtle energies at play in our bodies and in our own lives, WE KNOW, we’ve simply been taught by a society that trains us to hand our power over to an external to ignore this. Yet all the answers we need are within us, we are already know. And from that place of knowing, we can follow our instincts to seek out exactly what is going to help us in that moment.
It is so important that we never allow anybody to take that sovereignty away from us, no matter who they proclaim themselves to be, what their discipline is, or any other reason. There is no outside authority. This is why I am so careful to allow my clients to steer their own journey, and to never try to enforce anything upon them, or insinuate that I know better what is appropriate for their lives.
My own journey on top of all of the work I have done with clients around these subjects over years has taught me so much about the nuances and intricacies of the healing process. Although you may have no obvious emotional charge left around certain events or issues, the subtle energy that accompanied them still needs to be shifted for full freedom to be attained. This works with every other nuance of the experience too – mental work alone cannot heal the emotional body, spiritual work is often not often to fully support the physical, and so forth. All layers must be tackled with equal importance and consideration.
I feel so incredibly blessed to have carved out a life where I have the freedom to live the absolute truth of my soul and of my greater self, and to have been guided here flawlessly by life. I am so grateful to be me.
Original post here – https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2338868536436397&id=100009398200105
May 3rd 2019:
The hardest part about recovering from childhood abuse and trauma is the stigma. Nobody wants to hear about it, people shun you, people shut you down and avert their eyes when you try to talk about it to get support, and yet simultaneously judge and condemn you for the things you’re deeply struggling with that nobody wants to help you with. It’s a desperately lonely and isolating journey, and has broken my heart so many times along the way. Today after all that has occurred this week I’m sitting in pure amazement that I’ve actually survived, never mind managed to create the life that I have, given the circumstances. It is a miracle.
Now that I’ve been relieved of the burden of having to hold this and am free to speak I feel like I can start sharing properly and begin my true purpose of helping others on their journey of walking through this, without the shame, without the guilt, without the other unnecessary and unhelpful baggage, and in supreme self-responsibility, with dignity intact.
Abuse and trauma is almost always passed down generationally through the ancestral line, this means that parents who abuse their children are almost certainly deeply traumatised themselves. This doesn’t make it ok, but understanding it in this larger context prevents blame and other non-helpful ways of approaching things. There is no one individual to blame, it is the larger phenomenon that needs to be understood in its true context of how it has impacted all of humanity in different ways. These patterns simply continue until somebody steps up and becomes the Pattern Breaker. It is the larger pattern of repeating trauma that needs to be dismantled, through the perspective of Unity, and how this is about everyone and creating a better future for all.
Traumatised people traumatise people – this is simply how it goes. Until we deal with and fully resolve our own trauma, we will simply play it out in different ways with other people, perpetuating the toxic cycle that has passed down over ages – creating alienation and more wounds of separation. It is our supreme responsibility as conscious beings to recognise and heal our own trauma, to stop the cycle in its tracks. We all have the potential to be Pattern Breakers. I want to play a part is dismantling stigma around healing trauma, so that more people have the opportunity to do so without the extra burden of societal rejection laid on top of them.
Original post here – https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2340176856305565&id=100009398200105
May 7th 2019:
Through my experiences of the last week I have been learning a lot more about a phenomenon that wasn’t 100% fully in my conscious awareness as a direct area of focus just yet, but that’s been on the periphery for years and which it’s now time to explore more deeply – the concept of Soul Theft or Abduction.
It occurs in many “mild” everyday ways that most people in consciousness/spirituality arenas are aware of (the idea of “energy vampirism” being one way), but the form I’m speaking of here is the much more severe form that has many layers of additional complexity.
The more severe and complex form is where in the course of a significant mental, emotional, physical or psychological assault, a part or possibly multiple parts of the soul are “captured” by the “perpetrator” of the assault. Usually the trauma needs to be significant enough to first of all enable soul loss to occur, and also weaken the defences of the captured person enough that they won’t have the required power to take their stolen soul piece or pieces back. A mutual agreement is necessary for this to take place, although the “agreement” on the part of the captured party simply be the unconscious agreement to participate in a forced process through not realising that they had a choice!
Often the purpose of this is the “capturer” wishes to place responsibility for something or other on the “capturee” – such as, “you are responsible for my wellbeing, and if you move forward then I will suffer, and therefore I’m going to hold you hostage”. The capturee would make an (often unconscious) agreement to, for example, give away part of their power in order to prevent perceived suffering of both parties, which may seem like a good choice from a certain perspective, but obviously isn’t in the long run.
Ironically this scenario actually holds both people hostage on a soul level, and prevents both from moving forward in significant ways. It is therefore vital that all soul pieces are restored back to where they belong, no matter the consequences. This can be a very complex and often painful process requiring great care (not the soul retrieval itself per se, but the whole process), and I believe it is also a relatively common phenomenon, yet is almost completely unrecognised in the mainstream world!
I have absolutely no doubt that this is why I myself have experienced, that I couldn’t see it fully until after the grip was released, and that this is what has made it impossible for me to make progress in particular areas of my life. I have also seen similar cases in more people than I would like to admit.
While we are always responsible for our own existence, it is also true that there can be other invisible factors contributing to any given situation, that makes things not so easy or black and white! These cases are nowhere near as simple as the mainstream self-help industry makes them out to be, and entirely different methods are needed to get to the bottom of them.
It is of also course true that parts of us can only remain “captured” so long as we allow them to be – but it’s not as simple a process to untangle all of this as just saying “don’t allow it then”. There are unseen complexities and nuances involved, often involving and impacting multiple people at once. What if you knew, for example, the likely impact on others of you claiming your freedom, and that impact is not necessarily positive? That makes things a little more difficult.
How to know if you might be experiencing Soul Theft/Abduction:
- It feels like somebody else has control over part of you, or is preventing you in some unseen way from taking particular steps or actions in life (not to be confused with entity attachment or possession, in this instance the “somebody” is an actual person, probably one that you know, although they may not be in the physical)
- It feels like somebody is “using your energy” or power in some unseen way, and the feeling is unshakeable, but because it’s “unseen” you question and doubt yourself if you might be imagining it, even though you KNOW on a deep level that you’re not
- It feels as though if you were to break free and take the steps that you need to, something dire may happen, there may be terrible consequences
- You feel some sense of vague “responsibility” for the other people/parties, that often overrides the sense of responsibility for one’s own wellbeing
- You feel like although you may cognitively know such a bond is toxic, you can’t quite manage to fully disengage from it – like you’re lacking some vital component that is needed to do so (which you are – the piece of your soul that has been stolen)
- You feel like a vital part of you is missing and tied up in an ongoing “situation” with another person, even though there may be no surface-level evidence of such a situation occurring (for example, you are not in active contact with said person)
- You have a feeling of disorientation and confusion around decision making in any area that will result in freedom from the invisible “binds” pertaining to another person that you can feel are there, like you can’t think straight
- Depression-like feelings and a sense of personal failure when unable to take steps in the direction of freedom from these binds, despite very best efforts, and a sense that some capacity needed to do so is just not available/accessible, is absent or missing
Some of this may be down to the simple matter of erroneous belief systems, but more complex cases where unseen energetic entanglements are at play do legitimately exist. Having experienced this myself, I know how frustrating it is when well-meaning people continuously tell you nonsense that is simply of no help whatsoever, and fails to acknowledge the underlying unseen dynamics at play.
After my experience last week I am experiencing some of the common effects of soul retrieval, a little bit of sadness, being slightly “out of sorts” as the piece that was missing integrates into my current life, and just feeling very tender and like I’m not quite ready yet to jump straight into creation of things that are now possible, but need a little time to first to rest in the integration process, with lots of patient and gentle nurturing of self.
Sharing because I want to bring awareness to the reality of these types of experiences. This is not madness, it’s not delusion, it’s a real thing and requires very specific care, treatment and understanding. It is simply not widely understood as a phenomenon.
Following my own full recovery, I want to learn to properly facilitate freedom from these complex cases in others. I’m part way there, but there are additional skill sets that it’s time to add to my ever-expanding toolbox next.
A side note: we can all be guilty from time to time of minor forms of soul stealing or “borrowing”, especially if we don’t have a strong rooting in self. Be aware that it negatively impacts the energy of others, as well as ourselves, to do this and is something to watch out for and eliminate as part of the process of self-mastery. Watch out for things like subtly imitating others, or picking up their mannerisms, using their ideas without due credit, and things like that. Sensitive beings can feel when this is being done to them, it’s not imaginary. Affirm that you will not allow it, and refuse to let your energy be controlled by anyone but you.
Important: empathic beings often “allow” this because they don’t want to hurt the feelings of others and know the intent is innocent, but ultimately this doesn’t help anyone.
Original post here – https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2343060859350498&id=100009398200105