On the morning of Saturday August 1st our magical little cat decided to leave us just as suddenly as he arrived, taking with him endless layers of baggage and flinging open doors to unfathomable dimensions of beauty. It’s taken me over a month to be able to sit down and write this blog in full, such has been the depth of the experience and all that it has imparted. Above all, it has marked the end point of an era of my journey, and through this the beginning point of an entirely new area. In truth, it is not even in such a linear sense, but more of a seamless transition from one way of being to another. Allow me to tell the story…
After having been being very “off” on the morning of the Friday, I had phoned and arranged the next possible vet appointment for our little one, and within an hour after that I knew that he was actually dying. I watched his spirit begin to leave his body as he lay at my feet beneath my desk as I worked, and silently soothed him, trusting completely in what I sensed very deeply was the inevitable. Realising that we were on the clock, I hastily phoned again and informed the receptionist that we were coming immediately as a matter of emergency. I scooped him up gently from the ground, wrapped him carefully in a towel for warmth, and carried him in my arms to the vet in the pouring rain. As we walked together, cars rushing past us, I spoke to him of how nothing existed but the two of us and marveled as he melted into absolute surrender and trust in the safety of my embrace. We looked at each other knowingly from time to time, and he conveyed nothing but peaceful acceptance and genuine appreciation for my depth of articulated respect for his being.
Practically speaking, it seems that he experienced an insidious and ultimately fatal infection triggered by a virus that was likely there all along and was just a matter of timing before it claimed him. The perfection of all of this in terms of the journey that we have been on together was startlingly apparent immediately, there is not a doubt in my mind that it was orchestrated from the off. He was with us for only 8 months, having come for the purpose of providing this experience, the true meaning of which I can only begin to hint at in words. The stunning depths to which an animal can touch a heart in such a short time, and the incredible breadth to which they can open it permanently, is something truly extraordinary.
A virus is an aggressive attempt to destructure whatever is not yielding to graceful change. When this exists in nature, it is an indication that nature is showing us those areas within our lives that are refusing to evolve with the changing times. The fact that such a virus exists is indicative that the animal kingdom (in this case the cat kingdom, as it was a feline virus) has contracted to mirror to us distortions in perception so that we might resolve them to the benefit of all. In much the same way as the now famous lion known as Cecil came to awaken humanity to the destructive nature of our lust for consumption, many other less famous animals have come with the soul purpose at this time to open our eyes. The best way that we can serve them reciprocally therefore is to recognise this, and commit to our growth. Our companion animals are key in this, but the dynamic appears everywhere in nature. The question is one of how much we are truly paying attention. The animal kingdom willingly, loving, acceptingly and compassionately takes on whatever it can to allow us to refine our own evolutionary potential.
There was such a funny feeling from when I woke up on the Friday where I knew on some level what was happening, but simultaneously knew that the multi-layers of insights/revelation had to unfold in exactly the right moment, in total surrender, without a step out of sync. It was crystal clear to me that he knew he was leaving us too, and as I quickly got to grips with everything it hit me that he had come in a flash just to take us to the next level. I can’t even begin to describe the magnitude of the previously untapped magical multi-dimensional, inter-species communicational capacities that began to open for me as I was walking away from the vet in full awareness that he was leaving us, without any definite confirmation of it. I came home and drummed the spirit of death out of the house, knowing full well that only eternal life is real, pushing him through to the next level of evolution along with me. Retrospectively, I knew from the off that the feeling that morning meant “initiation”. These events come but once in a blue moon, and are always the sign of completely changing times. There was nothing for it but to let go profoundly.
Over the next hours, so many gifts became apparent to me. One of the greatest by far was the opportunity for the complete and total elimination of guilt. For a split second I found myself thinking “what if I had done something differently?” and then instantaneously felt his essence convey that I was on the wrong track with this. I realised like watching a set of dominoes tumble across the spread of my life that absolutely irregardless of anything, no matter what, guilt is unnecessary. It is completely pointless, and more than that: it insinuates that the personal self can have a say in anything; that anything but the One Life can be at cause for its own movements, and that is simply untrue.
I saw that to indulge guilt is to play a game of duality that creates a mind-made matrix of the fluid structure of form, and it is a matter of choice in whether or not we will play that game. In the immediate instance of deciding, or refusing, to believe that anything but Eternal Love is the case, the heart/mind polarity is obliterated and peace reigns in the Temple of Being. This deeply mystical revelation reoriented every little crevice wherein I had understood this conceptually but not actually mastered it in full physical embodiment. The path of becoming “first cause” is simply the path of aligning deeply with Infinite intent unfolding – I understand this more deeply than ever.
There is so much that I cannot possibly write about the intricate multi-layered nuances of how in concert through his death-walk and my response to it we have simultaneously highlighted all within the large “sphere” of our home that was still stuck in the triad of linear change. It literally felt like sweeping into every corner and brushing out all the tiny bits of hidden dirt, taking it through every level of transformation, transmutation and transfiguration until not a speck was unprepared to transcend all of it. Every experience is an opportunity for expanded awareness, and this one is no different. Among the many other things, it has taught me unequivocally the choice of our attitude in the moment is what determines the quality of the journey – not the circumstances. All circumstances are benevolent.
In the week following Oisín’s death, I hired a lady whose primary job is animal communication to be sure that I was not deluding myself in the messages I was interpreting. He conveyed through her that although he knew I didn’t need to have this explained to me, he wanted to show her his process of leaving the physical realm anyway as there was something that would have unique personal meaning to me. Instead of the image that she explained animals will usually show her of themselves running up a grassy hill and into a beautiful sunset, he instead showed himself beginning to run up the hill and then changing into a huge eagle and flying across the horizon. I knew undoubtedly that this was a message confirming what I already knew in my heart and cried silent tears of rapture for the blessing. It confirmed to me that he had indeed transcended the levels of linear change and moved to the level of godhood, which I am certain was partly a gift of grace through the way in which I was able to hold things. Additionally, the magnitude of the change that he facilitated couldn’t be without it’s reward. Animal Communicator Sky Heartsong can be found here – www.skyandtheanimals.com
The largest gift for me, that is almost beyond description, is the complete dissolving of the membrane separating the animal kingdom from the other “sections” of my DNA Rose (which includes the template for pristine humanity) – creating a communion that transcends communication. The animal kingdom is now experienced as a power within me, the illusion of divisibility resolved. There was never any separation, and to put it in Oisín’s words, “you were just imagining it”. I realised that such depth of intimate “relation” has never been blocked, though I yearned for it, and that the sensing that there was something more was simply pressing me to realise that nature is in myself. I now recognise directly that through living the pristine qualities of nature, including the animal, plant and mineral kingdoms, it is possible to be the benevolent steward of all areas of natural existence simply by our outpouring of reverence for our own Being.
There is so much more to write about on this and I will do so in another blog, along with information on how, to assist with the entire process, I had utilised the new Runes of the Infinite Mother, which was a truly extraordinary experience in and of itself. I will be forever grateful to our little cat and all the joy that he brought us. On the Saturday night, again in the pouring rain, we buried him under a sky lit by the only Blue Moon for the next 3 years. Who knows where we’ll be by then.